A Break from Winter

Let's just say I'm not my best on 3 hours of sleep.

Standing at the gate for our American flight from Phoenix to Toronto (via Dallas), I was loosing my shit. Our flight had just loaded up the First Class people to board and were proceeding to welcome on the Executive Platinums, the Platinums, the Golds, Elites, Mastercard carriers, then the Coppers and Leads...any metal you can think of really. It was going to be awhile before we could get our baby and all her crap onto that plane.

I was not my best self; antsy and perturbed and dare I say a bit bitchy (gasp). Our long journey home had started the night before after our last show of the tour in Hollywood at the Hotel Cafe (one of my favourite shows of the tour). After our set, we started the 6 hour drive from L.A. to get to Phoenix for our flight the next day at 1:50pm. We were losing an hour on the way too.

Annie scores the sweet seat.

As a band we had aimed to get to Blythe, CA, a stone's throw from the AZ border, and about 2 1/2 hours from the airport for a bit of sleep before continuing on in the morning. At about 2 am, we rolled into the small town to find that the hotels were all booked up. Colin and I drove around to 7 hotels to see if there were any rooms, and were about to head for Phoenix (the next point of civilization) when we decided as a band to scope out the limits of town. Thankfully we found a few dingy rooms between the 5 1/2 of us, and settled in for, well, a nap.

Despite Annie's deep sleep in the car (she woke only briefly when we settled her into the hotel room), I felt guilty about doing this to her. However, she was in much better spirits than I on Sunday as we finally boarded the plane to home. Gurgling and making eyes at the flight attendants, she scored us ace seats at the front of the plane.

** I am going to write a blog about all the sweet upgrades we've been getting since having a baby.

I don't mind touring Arizona and California in January. Nope not at all! I relished the sunlight and balmy California weather. Even the record lows in Arizona were welcome. It was still warmer than Toronto, and that low sun brought out the freckles on all our faces. We tried to bring Annie outside as much as possible to give her fresh air, and Sue had a good 2 hour walk on the beach with her while Colin, Paul and I went surfing in Carlsbad, CA.

Surfing in Carlsbad, Paul, Moi & Colin. Note: 55 degree water!

This was Annabelle's first significant tour away from home, and our first on Pacific time. We learned a few important lessons:

Ignore the Time Change
We tried to keep Annabelle on EST, as much as possible. At home, we put her to bed around 11pm. This meant Colin leaving after dinner at the venue and heading back to the hotel to start the bedtime wind-down while we played the show. She was usually asleep by the time I got back, fed by a bottle of expressed milk.
This wasn't possible in a couple of instances, so we tried to put her to sleep backstage. She wasn't interested. Party animal.

Keeping a Routine
Trying to keep tabs on her routine is difficult with the road, especially because she tends to squander normal nap times as soon as we put her in the car and whenever we're on a plane. We're not sure how much she even notices regular reading/singing, but those routines help us mark the day too.

Enjoying the very decent weather.

We are also mindful that while I often do the pre-bed stuff at home, Colin is getting her ready for bed on the road. We have to make sure we mix it up while we're in Toronto, to keep her guessing.

Quiet hotel rooms
The baby will not settle if the T.V. is on. She doesn't see much of it at home, and is wide-eyed each time we put on the boob-tube, distracted during feeding, and refusing to fall asleep. Dim lighting is also a must. She's very sensitive about lighting (like her Mother).

Hollywood, baby.

Supplies
Sleepers are way more useful than baby clothes: EASY DIAPER ACCESS. And we need to pack many many many sleepers due to high rate of poop breaching. You can also never pack too many receiving blankets: It's our go-to for burping, sleeping surfaces, blankets, etc. I only packed three, and had to wash them twice on the trip.

Disconnected from the rest
On a personal note, I am learning that I cannot have the best of both worlds. I would have loved to go hiking with the band at Joshua Tree, and take part in more late-night hangs, but it's not in the cards for me right now. I do have to work harder to communicate with the rest of the band while we're travelling. Not having my US cellphone up and running doesn't help - on travel days we were left guessing where the other vehicle was, what they were doing for lunch and what time they'd arrive. Using free email at Starbucks helped somewhat but is a far cry us all being in on the adventure together in one vehicle. Again, I'm learming.

This weekend we'll be in Gainesville, FL for a couple of shows at the Phillips Centre for Performing Arts. Today we're rehearsing for our tour in Alaska, where we'll be travelling as a three-piece again. Kerri and Sue have to return to the bass, so we're clocking some extra hours for that. Baby is joining in with leg kicks and gurgling. That fourth harmony is almost ready!

Last note: this is my favourite picture of the tour. My two best buds and bandmates entertaining Annabelle at midnight at Pearson airport after our epic long day. How I love them.

Til next time,

Caroline

NYC for Babies

It all started Saturday morning, when we headed out for our first tour of 2013, starting with a weekend in NYC. In total that day, we took 7 forms of transit to get to the Hilton where we were showcasing at the APAP* conference. Early Saturday, Annie’s Uncle Gage drove us down Bathurst St. to the ferry for our Porter flight to Newark. Once we landed, we took a bus to a tram to the Sky train. When we finally arrived at Penn Station, we hopped in Annie’s first yellow cab. She barely peeped the whole way.

Shortest ferry, smallest passenger. To Porter Airlines in T.O.

By the time we arrived for our sound check at the hotel (over an hour late due to airplane maintenance and being held at customs), I was on edge. Lugging our gear onto the sky train from New Jersey into downtown NYC, and trying to find a seat to feed Annabelle had raised my anxiety levels. I sat crammed into a window seat, nursing the baby as we passed through sad, run-down landscapes adjacent to the tracks, all the while worried that my stress may be souring my breast milk. Annabelle did not seem to notice and fell into a peaceful deep sleep.

After sound check at APAP, we headed back to our hotel for a little rest. It becomes obvious to me in those moments, how much she needs some quiet time. She immediately starts moving, cooing, and making eye contact. She is happy to stretch out and in a way, she comes out of her shell.

We headed out for dinner with our manager, Helen and our agent Herschel. The restaurant was crammed with patrons, and had little place for a car seat, so I strapped her into her carrier and sat down with her, facing out at the dinner table. She seemed pleased to be part of the meeting! At one point during dinner, I had to change her diaper, so I headed to the bathroom. There was a lineup of women dressed up and ready for Broadway shows and evenings on the town. They circled me, asking me questions about the baby, and offering to hold her while I used the washroom. I have NEVER talked so much to strangers in my life. Having a babe in arms certainly opens up the conversation. And, it helps that she’s so goddamned cute.



Colin, Annie & Paul hang out in the hotel lobby.

 For the first time, Colin stayed behind at the hotel with Annie while I went to play our showcase. The show had a late start of 10pm, which is when we usually start winding her down for the night. It was nice to feel secure knowing that I had pumped enough milk to tide her over for the evening, and to give myself the headspace to get into performance mode. I will admit, with guilt, that it was nice to concentrate fully on myself and the band and the task at hand, rather than having one eye and an ear out for the baby.

New York City is not made for babies, but with a bit of adventurous spirit, you can make it work. On our downtime, we walked about the city, to Times Square (where Annie-B was totally A.D.D.), Grand Central Station (to try yet another mode of transport), New York Public Library (Ghostbusters, need I say more), 5^th Ave (to look at things we cannot afford) and Central Park (to catch our breath). It was fairly easy to carry her around asleep against me, but damn is that baby ever getting heavy. Everyone tells me she’s tiny, but my back says otherwise. Also, it’s very difficult to try on nice clothes when you have a baby strapped to you. Thank goodness for hand-off to the husband!

Out for a walk in Central Park.

While in NYC we also played a show at the legendary Living Room on the lower east side. We love playing club shows, (especially when the room is packed!). It felt so nice to let loose after playing a couple of industry showcases in stuffy hotel rooms; to play to people you aren’t trying to “sell” to. Just music appreciators, and friends who want nothing more than a good show (the drink tickets were nice too)!.

My new challenge with the club shows is that there is rarely green room space. When it comes to Annabelle, the green room is a necessity. Luckily the sound wasn’t overwhelmingly loud, so Colin was able to keep her in the room while we played. She cried a few times, in her mewling kind of way, making my breasts leak. Oh motherhood constantly surprises me. Nothing has ever made me feel more part of the animal kingdom. I’m just a big milk bag.

The bathroom/green room/change table at the Living Room. Photo by Kerri Ough.

 Now we are on the other side of the country driving through Arizona. My pores are soaking up the sun, a welcome change from the gloomy drizzle of NYC in January. Tumbleweed literally just blew across the I-10. I am having that strange experience of forgetting where I am, waking up in strange hotel rooms and taking a moment to remember I’m on the road. The first thing I do is check on the babe: good, she’s there. On we go.

‘Til next time,

Caroline

*APAP is an Arts Presenters conference held annually in NYC. We perform at many of these during the year. We basically have 15-20 minutes to perform our “show” for a room full of industry-types (bookers, agents, arts presenters, etc.) Not stressful at all. It only defines our touring schedule for the next two years...

Cabin Fever

I have cabin fever.

It's not a serious case, but I've got the itch; I am longing for the road, for a solid tour of shows each night in new places, to be in the van with the band and play new songs for one another, and to tumble into hotel beds (or onto a friend's floor) each night. Add the fact that while I am home I don't have the same freedom to leave the house as I did before, and you get one restless lovely. The cabin fever settles in just a bit deeper than it did when I could leave the house at the drop of a hat.

The thing is, it's not impossible to get out and about - it's just easier to stay home (barefoot Mama in the kitchen here...ha!). And, I reason with myself that there's no rush to get out. After all, come Saturday, we'll be "out and about" for a week and a half, on tour in NYC, California and Arizona. That's plenty of action for my little lady.

I struggle with the balance of calm and bustle, home and road, out and in. That's my conundrum.

We do get out quite a bit, considering that Annabelle's only 15 weeks today. I try to make a point to leave the house with her once a day (this also gets me out of my pyjamas - not joking). Whether it's for a walk to the grocery store or to get a coffee, or to pick up strings at Long & McQuade, it's something. We're out. And we're breathing fresh air (well, fresh-ish: this is Toronto after all). What I have found is that it's just easier to move around with her in my bamboo Mama, and not in her stroller or car seat. With her strapped to me, we're both relaxed and I have my arms free to carry grocery bags, etc. She sure is getting heavier though.

A heavenly winter walk with sleepy Annie.

I'm mindful that the air does do Annie good, especially during this cold and fresh time of year, when we tend towards the indoors. After all, there's no bad weather, just bad clothing.


I've been thinking of taking this one step further and having Annie nap outside, Scandinavian-style. Check out this blog on outdoor napping; apparently it is very common to have babies nap outside, in the dead of winter across Scandanavia. Arguments for this practice is that they sleep deeply and rest well. I'm tempted to put the babe outside on the deck for an hour and see how she sleeps!


Earlier this week, after a full 40 hours indoors, from Sunday night to Tuesday afternoon, I had to break out. My sister in law, Allie, baby sat while I went for a run. These moments alone keep me sane; whether it's much-needed jog, a solo-trip to the grocery store, a drink at a bar on Dundas street with friends...a moment to breathe.

I am finding it good for Annabelle to have a bit of time away from me too. Since the last tour ended, I've been with Annie almost every minute of the last 3 weeks. I've had so much one-on-one time with her, that this week she started to play "strange" with others (even with my dear sister, who is a baby-whisperer!). This is concerning, so this week I've been trying to get her into the arms of others, and stepping out the door for an hour.

All strapped in, ready to go. NYC, Arizona & California here we come!

We leave for NYC tomorrow, where Annabelle will be exposed to the full bustle of touring life. It's been very peaceful here at home. and it is easy to forget how insane life on the road can be (hence the longing). To be honest, I don't know if I'm ready for the city that never sleeps, but I sure am ready to break out of here. This is our first significant trip away with Annabelle, for 8 days straight. Cross your fingers for us, folks.

Til next time,

Caroline

Recap over a Nightcap

In the spirit of end of year lists, top tens, countdowns, and best of's,  I am going to share a recap of my 2012. I write it from the vantage of a new year; 3 days underway and looking pretty good. You see, these things are usually done at the end of year, posted before the big NYE countdown, but I'm afraid mine was delayed by Christmas parties (hosted and attended), birthday parties, chest cold, Annabelle, Season 3 of Downton Abbey and the flu - on New Years Eve itself (cue tiniest violin). Excuses, excuses! Well, better late than never, they say. So here goes my little recap.

Last year, Colin and I awoke on New Years Day to a bustling rainforest in Costa Rica. We had decided, half way through December, that we were long overdue for a honeymoon. We had not taken a trip together in many moons, so we boarded an airplane and headed to central America for 10 days of hiking, exploring coasts, and surfing.

It was the trip of our lives thus far. We came home completely refreshed and excited about the year; rested up and relaxed and our curious minds satisfied. And thank god we took that trip when we did, as both of us were unaware that I was already carrying a little cluster of molecules that would become Annabelle. It will be awhile before we can do that again.

Standing on Volcanic Ash, with Lake Arenal in the distance.

After we came home, and I realized that I was pregnant, the rest of 2012 became wrapped up in the aura of anxiety, excitement and anticipation of having a baby. That's really the moment that everything changed.

Early 2012 had us touring heavily through Western Canada and the mid-West of the USA. It was a no-brainer telling Kerri and Sue about my pregnancy early on, as we had to start preparing for the coming year, but it was difficult to conceal my news from others (including our dear bassist Paul, who was under the impression that I was on a detox. Try turning down delicious 8 % beer night after night. Who would detox in IDAHO!?). When I think back to that time, it is shrouded in loneliness; there was no real opportunity to talk it out, to share how I was feeling, to express my concern over the future of the band, to still feel a part of things. I felt quite alone, not from a lack of friendship, but because I had to deal with all of this internally. The queasiness* went hand in hand with worry.

On our drive through Jasper in BC in March 2012

*I must mention, as an aside, that it helped being in the mid-west in my first trimester. My body craved beige - nauseous anytime I saw green food. It was 3 months of toast, eggs, and potatoes. Luckily that part of the world specializes in beige foods.

There were some breakthroughs, of course: A major one was deciding as a band that we would cancel a very fruitful tour in November of 2013, rather than hire a replacement; the thought of being home while that tour was underway was killing me. Realizing that Colin would be able to come on the road with us, and that my new Mom-job would include duties as a baby-snuggler also helped ease the anxiety around having an infant.

Paul and I compare baby/beer bumps

Sue & Kerri consider forming a bass/conga duo for our time off

Once I was able to start talking openly about my pregnancy, and as soon as I was over the first trimester nausea, I started feeling much more upbeat and positive about the experience. As April rolled around, and we played shows in Colorado, Vancouver, and Washington State, I felt more like my old self; and the upside to not drinking anything was that I felt some real clarity in the mornings. There was a calm that set in - for awhile.

Kerri, Sue, and I in Utah

In April we hit the JUNO Awards in Ottawa. We didn't win, but it was damn fun...even without the drinking, which I will admit usually helps me feel more comfortable at these gala-fancy-red-carpety type things. It was certainly interesting to watch the industry at work while stone cold sober. Humans are so awkward sometimes.

Side note to pregnant ladies: do not buy your dress for the most important party of year weeks in advance. Enough said.

Lovelies on the red carpet

In early May, we recorded a live album at Revolution Studios in Toronto. It was a beautiful, albeit whirlwind, two days at home. We had also decided to videotape the show, 5 month bump and all - yes, I had to let that one go too. I reasoned with myself that it was a moment in time captured, and that the bump would be part of the show! It is. Check out a video from "Live from Revolution" here.

After the album was recorded, we headed directly to the UK for a whirlwind two-week tour, with our favourite road manager Rebecca Kemp. I love touring in the UK. It's a warm (hearted), comfortable place to be, and it feels like a vacation with Kempie at the helm. No driving, no advancing, no work for us to do other than play shows and do interviews. It's wonderful.

Rebecca Kemp looking for sheep

One of my favourite memories of the year took place in London. After our long overnight flight, Kerri, Sue and I pushed the three single beds in our hotel room together and watched a marathon of Downton Abbey. We were so exhausted, but laughed heartily (and teared up a bit too) at our favourite new show. That whole trip - the castles and sunshine (seriously it was sunny in the UK...weird), cozy house concerts and pregnant dress-shopping in Edinburgh feels now like a dream. I loved that tour. It felt bittersweet, mostly because I couldn't drink Scotch in Scotland, but whatever that's cool (NO. NOT COOL.)

My first "bump" photo, in Cornwall, UK. By Kerri Ough

From London, we flew directly to San Francisco where we met up with Paul. We were playing the weekend at the Strawberry Music Festival in Yosemite National park. In the lead-up to the trip, we were telling our audiences in Britain that we were leaving rainy England for Sunny California. Well, were we ever WRONG. On the last weekend in May, it snowed while we were onstage. Thankfully Northern Californians are hardy people, and cheered through the sleet. And it was an amazing festival, despite the fact that our tiny, chilly cabin didn't have a toilet. This pregnant lady took several pyjama-ed trips to the freezing cold communal loo in the wee pee hours. #buildingcharacter #blah

Our workshop audience in NorCal. Hardy indeed!

June gave me the occasion to settle into homelife for a stretch, and to spend a bunch of time at the family cottage. Heavenly. And we had a wonderful show at the Glenn Gould - also heavenly. It was one of my favourite shows of the year, and I was surprised to find that my voice hadn't changed at all by this point. In fact by the end of my pregnancy I felt that my voice was better than it has ever been - I wasn't struggling for breath or pitch. I think this may have been helped by the fact that I ran up until the last month, and did yoga a few times a week. At least that's what I tell myself. It's a powerful incentive for exercise.

The summer months were significantly lighter on touring than in previous years, but we did a beautiful stretch of shows in Northern Ontario and down through Michigan and Indiana in July. We started at the Northern Lights Festival Boreal in Sudbury and visited our good friends at Piebird near North Bay and Loplops in Sault Ste Marie. I love that drive. It felt like homecoming, heading North on HWY 11. A proper Canadian experience. My heart is always on that highway.

Kerri & Sue at Cain Park in Cleveland Heights, OH. Our last show, pre-baby.

Oh, and somewhere in there we also spent a couple of days at Paul's cottage on Georgian Bay. Life is tough as a touring musician, folks. Trust me.

Yoga on Georgian. Thanks Paul.

As the fall rolled around, we moved upstairs to the larger unit in our house (see my blog about moving as a pregnant lady - NOT highly recommended), and started our prenatal courses. Nothing, however, would prepare me for the insanity and magic of childbirth. After just under a day of labour, in the wee hours of September 28th, we met Annabelle. Our new, beautiful little lovely.

The first week of her life, with Colin at home and the help of my Mom, will always be remembered as one most special times of my life. Nothing but learning how to love her (didn't need much help there), how to care for her (needed a bit more help with that) and how to be a Mom (still learning).

While everything up to that point had been basked in anticipation, everything from that moment on has revolved around her (well, within reason). I believed strongly, and still do, that it would be important to help encourage a baby to be flexible so that she would be able to put up with the demands of the road; the reality is that I have to tour to make a living. And in order to tour, I would need to bring the baby. And in order to bring the baby, we'd have to prepare her.

So early fall, in its' rosy post-birth glow (fatigue), became a time for us to take short road trips, go out in the evenings with her, and get her used to lots of people. She did beautifully, mostly due to her temperament and not her parents' teachings. We lucked out with a chill baby. That much is true.

Admiring oneself in the makeup mirrors is always pleasant.

The three months at home were very special, not just because of the baby. My best friend Kerri got married to her sweetheart, I was home for a few birthdays and Thanksgiving, got to hang out with my family for extended periods of time, and I set my feet on the ground for awhile. The suitcase was not left half-packed for a change.

We learned, as we were about to hit the road in December, that Annabelle is a dream sleeper. She has slept through the night since about 4 weeks on (cue fellow parent-hate), which I believe has helped me maintain my sanity (okay, I still admit that going on the road with a 2 month old is still insane). Our first stops in Batavia, IL and Detroit MI had some challenges, but for the most part she was a trooper (you can read my blog about our first weekend with baby on tour here). We then went on to play a couple more shows in the US and a handful of Canadian dates, mostly to hometown crowds. It was a satisfying way, as an artist, to round out 2012.

The afterparty sure has changed. Here she is surrounded by her Lovely road family after the last show of 2012, with Kerri behind the camera.

So here we are, a week from hitting the road again. This time to NYC and a few dates in Arizona and California. This is a big year for us - much writing and recording and touring to do. But I get to enjoy this with my two best friends AND my little family! This is a dream, and I'm sure years from now I'll look back on this year as one of the most amazing of my life. So long 2012, you were something. Hello 2013, I welcome you. And damn am I excited.

Til next time,

Caroline