www.momontheroad.ca

Hello friends! This blog has moved to:

www.momontheroad.ca

Thanks, always for reading!

'Til next time,
Caroline

Going solo (for a weekend).

You might be think I'm talking about a solo music project, but that's not quite it. You see, I'm about to go solo: two whole nights without Annabelle.

This weekend the Good Lovelies head out on a short 2 1/2 day trip to Minnesota for some shows. It's been a long time since I have been in the tour van with the band, and have had a hotel room to myself (well, at least one I can make noise in and not worry about the tiny sleeping hot potato in the other bed). I'd be lying if I said I wasn't looking forward to it.

This will be my first time away from Annie overnight. She's 13 months now, and I think I'm ready. It helps that today was overwhelming; one of those days when the to-do list doesn't get any shorter, and I've checked my email about 50 times, and the baby won't nap, and there's a pile of dishes to do, dinner to cook, a tour to get organized for and God knows what else. I don't necessarily believe this is a "Mom" thing. It's a Life thing. I know we all have too much to do and too little time - but usually I can wrap my head around it. Not today.

And even though I've been having ongoing vocal issues(you can read about them here), and the stupidly dumb schedule we're on this weekend (I likely will get as much sleep as I do at home with the baby waking at night), the idea of being able to sit back and not have an ear/eye out for a few hours is really really appealing.

So I'll leave it there for now. Just a little insight into how I'm feeling about going away without Annie. I'm sure the recap will be filled with how much I missed the babe (I'm in for it!), and how much I hate pumping (oh that old chestnut), but for now, wish me a good time. And a clear voice. And late night cable WHEEEEE!!!

'Til next time,
Caroline

Sea-Legs Collective: First Ten

About a month ago, my friend and blogger Jen Ochej asked me to write a guest entry on her great East-Coast based music blog Sea Legs Collective. The feature she asked me to write was part of the blog's "First Ten"; every week she has a musician turn on shuffle on their music device, list the first ten tunes that show up and write a bit about them.

It was a great exercise, and got me thinking about how I listen to music. I realized that I rarely find a single and buy it. I still tend to buy entire albums and usually listen to them front to back.

To view the original post, follow this link.

...

Sea Legs Collective: My First Ten.

Full disclosure: I rarely buy singles, and love to listen to entire albums the old school way, which means shuffle is a strange beast to me. As a result, I can't separate the songs from their albums, and apologize in advance if I write more about the records than the songs themselves!

Daniel Romano | Never a Forced Smile

Sleep Beneath the Willow

Daniel has become one of my favourite balladeers - he' s a killer songwriter and a great performer. This tune doesn't belong to this century, and it makes me tear up if I listen too closely.

Juana Molina | El Zorzal

Segunda

I started listening to Brazilian Juana Molina back in the days when I was working a desk job and desperately wanted to be out of my windowless office. It brings back a lot of strange feelings.

Which makes sense, because this song is typical of the album - lots of texture, lightness, and very quirky. I like a song that keeps me guessing.

Punch Brothers | Alex

Antifogmatic

Never mind Chris Thile's ridiculous mandolin playing, this tune made me fall in love with his voice. I actually think I have a 12 year old girl crush on his singing… it's playful, pleading, persistent, scolding, and sweet. Can you say Swoon!?

Kathleen Edwards | Change the Sheets

Voyageur

I am not surprised that this one showed up in my first ten. I have listened to this song hundreds of times in the last couple years. I still can't believe that I got to sing, with the Lovelies, on this album. Pinch me!

Sidenote: this is the PERFECT driving song. Makes me want to be on the highway (maybe not the 401, a nice rural highway would do) with the windows down. 

Bahamas | Any Other Way

Bar chords

A song about a woman about having a baby, and growing old with his lady. Bahamas was made for me! I love tunes with hints of domesticity and family life. Also he uses the lyrics "fist pumping" in this tune. C'mon!

Israel Kamaakawiwo'ole | Henehene Kou'Aka

Facing Future

Okay, who wants to live in Hawaii? I do, someday…or at least spend a few months pretending I live there. This is the fellow who made the beautiful version of "Over the Rainbow" on the Uke, and the whole album feels like an afternoon on a island.

Jake Bugg | Lightning Bolt

Jake Bugg

This KID kills me. He is 19 years old, and has written a song that I feel I have heard a million times before. Those are the best, the ones you have known your whole life. I dig this song big time, especially when I'm pounding pavement. It has a perfect walking beat.

Jonathan Byrd | May The River Run Dry

The Law & The Lonesome

This is one of my favourite records EVER. I love Jonathan's songwriting, voice, guitar playing - the whole package really. Something about this tune reminds me of my youth, of the Highwaymen, and of my parents.

HAIM | The Wire

Days are Gone

I'm partial to female three part harmony bands. Go figure.

This band is rocking, in the best 80's-rock kind of way. This song is super fun and has become a kitchen dance anthem for me and my one year old.

Also, the music video for the tune riffs on gender stereotypes, and made me chuckle out loud when I watched it for the first time.

Anais Mitchell & Jefferson Hamer | Tam Lin (Child 39)

Child Ballads

This album is a devastatingly beautiful collection of some of the Child Ballads, Ancient English & Scottish poems. This ballad recounts how Tam Lin is saved by his true love from the Faerie Queen. Anais is one of my favourite artists, and this album is a perfect late evening soundtrack. It's emotional in the folkiest way. 

Chronicles of a Sleepless Singer

This is my new mantra:
"I've had a lot of worries in my life, most of which never happened".
- Mark Twain

As I mentioned in a previous blog about my vocal health, my vocal coach has told me that I need sleep above all. It's the number one way to heal overworked vocal cords. 

This week I also went to an acupuncturist for the first time, to treat my tired vocal chords, and he asked how much sleep I was getting. I sheepishly told him about 7 hours a night, but broken up into 2-3 hour chunks at most (this is not solely Annie's fault; I am on high alert and sleeping so lightly).
So last night when I slept for 5 hours straight it felt like the longest most restful sleep of my life. It's been at least 3 months since the last time that happened.

I have been thinking about the factors that contribute to our state of sleeplessness, and I have to admit that the travelling life has caused many of Annabelle's bad sleeping habits.

A good activity to tire her out: Pick up all
the leaves on the way back from the coffee shop!

1. Co-Sleeping

The family bed is wonderful, and was perfect for this nursing Momma. In the beginning, when Annie was a wee babe, co-sleeping allowed me to nurse AND get sleep. She slept better when snuggled closely, and if she was hungry, I could slip out my boob and let her eat comfortably while I dozed. This also worked for us on the road - despite being in a different hotel room every night, Annabelle could experience the regularity of having me near. Plus, it was comforting for me to have her near too.

As Annabelle has grown, she has become more conscious of my movements, waking when I turn over, or when Colin would get up to go to work in the morning. Don't even think about turning a light on to read in bed... Unfortunately the joyful happy family bed means she now needs one of us to lay down with her to fall asleep every night.

2. Wonky Sleep Schedule

There is no "sleeping" regularity on the road. It's extremely difficult to get a baby to bed at the same time every day on tour. Sometimes, especially if there's no nanny on tour, Annie is awake late into the evening. And if we have an early departure the next morning, I'm waking her up before her 12 hours are up (SIDEBAR: don't you wish you were a baby and could sleep 12 hours a night!?). It feels a bit cruel messing with her schedule, especially as she gets older and less likely to fall asleep in any old moving vehicle.

3. Night Nursing

As solids became a more regular part of Annie's diet, I needed to stop nursing her at night feed. But it has been very hard; in addition to quickly soothing Annabelle back to sleep (so I could sleep), I used night nursing to keep her quiet on the road. You see, we often stay in people's homes and I am highly conscious of not wanting to wake my bandmates and our hosts. Each time she'd cry, out came the boob. This has led to some challenging sleep associations.

4. No thank-you Mr. Ferber

Many parents have suggested that we use the Ferber Method to teach Annie to put herself to sleep, and to soothe herself if she wakes in the nighttime. I just can't. It's not that I don't think it will work, it's just that it doesn't feel right for us. Maybe I'm not desperate enough. Maybe I'm not TIRED enough. Either way, I don't like letting her cry it out. Ferberizing just makes me plain uncomfortable.

I get a lot of ridicule for this; people think I'm too soft. But we'll figure it out, and I'd like to do so without the crying mess and the snotty, unhappy baby.

My very happy baby on our daily walk on St. Clair Ave. W. in Toronto

After our last tour, we had a good chunk of time at home, which anyone will tell you is necessary to implement new habits. Colin and I decided it was time to make some changes to our routine and approach. Here are our wins:

1. No more night nursing

This took some time, but it is going well. She still nurses three times a day (I will write another blog at some point regarding my choice to continue nursing Annabelle into her first year), but night feeds don't happen anymore. Well that's not entirely true; this Thanksgiving weekend we stayed with my Grandparents in Burk's Falls, ON. Let's just say that Annie's palate was tested that day, and her belly was upset through the night. I used breastfeeding to soothe her stomach and to keep her quiet so she didn't disturb my Grandma and Grandpa. That's what a few Cheetos will do to a one year old.

2. I stopped nursing Annabelle to sleep

When we're on the road, I cannot be with Annabelle every night, so this is a big win for whoever is putting her down. To make the shift, I started to nurse her in our bedroom, and then Colin or I would do her pre-sleep routine in her own room. This has helped disassociate sleep with nursing.

I was very nervous about this step, but it didn't take long! She had a few days of confusion but quickly settled into the new system. To be clear, she still needs us there to fall asleep, but at least she's not latched to my breast. That's a big WIN. For my breasts in particular.

3. She's sleeping in her own bed.

We decided recently that we wanted our bed back, but we quickly realized that the crib was a dead end. With so much time spent in a normal bed with me, she just didn't understand the transition to the little cage when we came home from tour. It also didn't allow us to comfort her to sleep by laying down with her at night. I got some great feedback from friends who had chosen floor beds for their children and we decided to give it a go.

Annie's big girl bed.

Best. Decision. EVER. It's been a great transition, and she'll have this bed for the next many years. Sometimes while soothing her back to sleep we'll fall asleep in her bed, so in some ways it's still an extension of co-sleeping (and sometimes I just nap with her if I can). At least we have our own bedroom to ourselves again.

Another great benefit to putting Annie's bed on the floor is that when she wakes in the mornings - or after naps - she's prone to exploring her room and playing by herself. She lets us know she's awake by babbling away and pulling every single book off the bookshelf. That's fun.

Plus she can't fall off the bed and hurt herself (this may have happened once in a hotel room in Chicago. Don't tell my Mom).

The fabulous blog apartmenttherapy.com recently featured a Gallery of Children's Floor Beds. Worth checking out for style ideas and a renewed look at baby rooms.

4. Routine, Routine, Routine

Ah, the travelling Mom's kryptonite. It has been so nice to have a somewhat regular schedule, to know when Annie will wake, when she'll eat and when she'll nap. Some days are totally bonkers, and we'll miss a nap here and there, but mostly there's a schedule.

It's also been key to develop her sleep routine: a few books, then a song, and then lights out. Again I can't really sing right now :((((( so Colin's been bearing the "brunt" of bedtime. He doesn't seem to mind. It's a very special time of day.

This is not to say that we don't have a long road ahead. Here are our ongoing challenges:

- She needs one of us to help her fall back asleep, which makes 2 am wake ups very bleak.

- She often wakes at 5 wanting to nurse, but we have been pushing it forward as much as possible. 5 am is not an acceptable wake up time around here.

- It takes FOREVER for her to fall asleep for her daytime naps, and laying down while she fights sleep can be very frustrating, especially when she starts making her "sleepy" noise (picture the most annoying sound in the world from Dumb and Dumber).

- She doesn't really want to drink very much whole milk when I'm not around to nurse which makes my upcoming two-night tour without her even more challenging. I'm trying not to worry about that.

I hope this sleep-training post helps some travelling Moms. Having been through these challenges now, I know the changes I would make if I could do it over again. That being said, Annabelle is very happy and healthy and easy going - so maybe I wouldn't change a thing. In the grand scheme of things, this time is fleeting, and before I know it I won't be sleeping because I'll be worried about her breaking curfew. I'm keeping Mark Twain in mind.

'Til next time,

Caroline

I Want My Voice Back.

I've alluded, in posts of late to my diminished vocal health. I've been having difficulty with my singing and speaking voice since late June. That's a long time, with no great improvement. And, after two weeks at home, nothing is changing; it's almost getting worse. I'm really starting to worry.

Just last night I listened to a song I'd recorded recently, and while the husky voice singing to me was pleasant, it wasn't me. I want to sound like myself again.

It all started with a scratchy throat about three shows into our UK tour. I chalked it up to fatigue and a budding cold, and I pushed through, using "Vocalzone" lozenges each night to get through the shows. Any singer will tell you that lozenges simply mask the problem, but I wanted (and needed) to get through the shows and they were working wonders. So that's what I did, for a good two weeks.

After coming back from the UK, and with a bit of time to recuperate, my clear upper range still wasn't coming back. I headed to the Toronto Western Artist's Health Centre to get some input. I spoke with their Registered Nurse, who referred me to Toronto's top ENT at St. Michael's Hospital. To my dismay, the earliest they will see me is March 2014. Yes, folks... MARCH. This is where I write a blog about our healthcare system. Ha!

In the meantime, I have been trying a broad range of techniques to work through this voicelessness. First, I started to see a vocal coach - Montreal-raised, Toronto-based Amanda Mabro. She's been an incredible source of inspiration and positivity; in addition to all the great knowledge Amanda has been sharing, she won't let me get down in the dumps about my situation: she won't let me think the worse. I am very lucky to have her, and she comes highly recommended.

At our first meeting, Amanda pointed out two major culprits:

1. Lack of sleep
I don't sleep like I used to. This is not the place to discuss how little (restful) sleep I am getting, but it's pretty bad. Not as bad as some parents experience with a one-year-old, but still not enough, especially given all the touring and singing we're up to. I need rest, the real deal for many hours in a row, and that's just not happening right now.

2. Technique
As suspected, I have developed some bad singing habits over the years, and they're starting to take their toll. I've never had any vocal lessons, and am now wishing I had. Amanda and I working on changing the way I sing, without changing the sound of my voice (because I kind of like how I sing!). Hopefully these new techniques will reduce the strain on my vocal chords going forward.

There are some other factors at play as well. Here are the ones I think are taking the most toll:

Asthma
I've had Asthma since the age of 10. I'm very lucky to have access to a great Lung Specialist at Toronto Western Hospital. I've been working with him for years to make sure the daily inhaled steroids that I take have the least impact possible on my vocal chords. Even still, there is no question that they contribute to drying me out.
This week we met to discuss my vocal issues and we're working on a new plan which includes an Aero Chamber to lessen the inhaled particles hitting the back of my throat. Every little bit!

Coffee & Alcohol
I love coffee. I love coffee more than wine and beer, which I've pretty much given up for the time being. Although recently in a moment of desperation I drank a shot of scotch at set break to get through the second half of the show. I was feeling desperate...it worked at the time, but I'm sure I paid the price the next day. I just have to accept the fact that my singing voice does not allow me to drink whiskey every night. Bummer.
Coffee is another story. Every morning I wake up and I say: "Tomorrow! I'll stop drinking coffee tomorrow!" I know it's drying out my voice, but it really does help me through the day (especially with all that sleeplessness!) So I drink coffee, and loads and loads of water. I pee twice an hour, but at least I'm keeping my throat lubricated

Talking
My talking habits have contributed to these issues. Basically, I speak more loudly than I need to, and I speak in a low range while I sing in upper registers. I think I taught myself to speak like this years ago, because I felt it gave me more authority. Ha! I have to accept the fact that my voice falls naturally in a higher register, and that I am not meant to sound sexy. Not even in my singing voice...it's okay, Caroline. Get over it!

Touring, Touring, Touring
I feel that these vocal issues have persisted (and gotten worse) because I've been singing through strained vocal chords for months. We go on tour and my voice feels okay (though not 100%) for a few shows. Then it slowly degrades each night until the last few shows, when I literally start squeaking. I haven't hit the last high note in the Heebie Jeebies for months. It's so depressing.
Also, the problem with touring is that it's designed to kill your voice: Long drives in cars with bad ventilation, smoky hotel rooms, flights that suck all the moisture out of your body, sleeplessness (Remember that night I played until 2 and Annie got up at 7? Read about it here!), singing, talking loudly over the hum of a van, laughing with your friends...it's terrible. But also awesome.

This is our first real break in a long time, and it's most necessary, especially as we ramp up to do 29 shows on the Vinyl Cafe Christmas Tour. It's going to be insane, but also awesome. I'm hoping the combination of many approaches will help me sound myself again, but my sense is that complete vocal rest is the only thing that will do it. I hate to admit it because I love hanging out with friends and family while I'm home and gabbing over the din of a bar while a band is setting up. And also - how do I accomplish complete silence with 1 year old who babbles and points, asking "dat?" (what's that?) every 10 seconds? I can't leave her hanging!

Saddest part of this whole thing? I can't sing lullabies to Annabelle. I cannot sing quietly to my baby, and in the few times I've tried to lull her to sleep with a song, it's been difficult. A singer not being able to sing lullabies to her baby is the plot of a heartbreaking drama.

It's late, and time to enter dreamland. That's where I sing these days.

'Til next time,

Caroline

Happy Birthday Annie-B!

This is the most important birthday I've ever experienced. And having travelled once around the sun with Annabelle, from her birth to 365 days later, I have a better understanding of what it means.

No Betty Crocker here...from scratch!

Colin and I were trying to remember, at various moments today, what we would have been doing exactly 1 year ago. Were we learning to bathe Annabelle? Trying to take a nap through all the hospital buzz? Trying to nurse (ouch)? Visiting with family and friends? Talking to the doctor? Staring at the baby? Most likely staring at the baby...

The details of the days following Annabelle's birth are a bit fuzzy, but one thing we agree on was that beautiful rosy post-birth glow. It softened the whole crazy, human experience, making it in retrospect, romantic. I believe that feeling is Love, true unadulterated LOVE; a one-way outpouring of emotion unlike anything I've felt before. Colin felt it too. And at moments we still feel it.

Well, today we celebrated Annabelle's first birthday. It was a simple affair, at the park near our home, with family and friends, playing some pick-up sports as the baby was passed from one set of arms to another. I guess maybe not such a baby anymore! It was a perfect day in Toronto, and exactly the kind of celebration we wanted: simple and outside.

Annabelle with her cousin Addison. I have a feeling that we're going to have to watch these two.

For first birthday parties, the Brooks family has a tradition of giving the baby their own cake; they get to go nuts, hands covered in icing and tastebuds in heaven. Sometimes the babies are weirded out by the experience (my nephew was scared of his cake), and others are all in.

Well, it seems that Annie has been waiting her whole life to eat that cake. Once we put a tiny taste of it in her mouth, she simply planted her face into the first layer. She then proceeded, to the great delight of her "audience" to lick the icing off the top. After awhile, I put a stop to the madness; I'm afraid that her first experience with sugar was a success.

Annie practicing for her first pie-eating contest.

So, Happy Birthday Annabelle! Or Annie, or Annie-B, A-B, Annie-Banany, Bananabelle, Adorabelle, Mud-Puddle, Peanut, Monkey-Doodle...whatever we call you, you're the best. THE BEST. Thanks for the most exciting year of my life. So far :)

'Til next time,

Caroline

Goals for home time!

We are one week into a month and a half at home, and I'm digging it. This is stating the obvious, maybe, but it's wonderful to nest, especially when it's the most gorgeous time of year in this often-smelly city. We've had a beautiful string of weather (how Canadian of me to be writing about the weather!), and it's now cool enough to close the windows in the house so that I'm not grinding my teeth each time a truck backs down our lane to dump a load of bricks for yet another construction project. I could write a few blogs about the noise in my neighbourhood this summer, let me tell you.

Plus, being home means I don't have to unpack and repack a suitcase full of baby crap each day. Everything is where it should be. Toys in each room, Annie in her own bed, her clothes in the closet, diapers in the drawer. And there's a high chair if I need to keep Annabelle in one place. It's awesome.

Bathroom playtime

Many people have been asking me what I'm doing during my time at home. There's an assumption that home = vacation. Not so for the self-employed...I've got some real personal and professional goals for my time in Toronto. I thought that if I shared them, I would be more accountable! My friend Kerri Ough wrote a great blog about what she planned to do with her sabbatical last year (read it here). I was inspired by that entry, and thought I'd share my goals too.

Here we go:

Daily Journal Writing
My journal scrawling has all but come to a halt since Annie was born a year ago. I used to journal regularly - especially on the road on long drives, or with a glass of wine late at night when Colin went to bed. Now, I just want to go to bed early too, and if I'm on the road with the baby, I'm either driving, entertaining her, or trying to nap. The last thing on my mind is putting thoughts to paper. So, at least four entries per week, even if it's just a recap of the day. I need to get the words flowing again.

Vocal Coaching
I have started to work with the fabulous Amanda Mabro to find ways to help improve my vocal health. There's a blog about my voice in the works where I'll explain my situation more deeply. In short, I'm learning that some bad technique and shitty amounts of sleep are the likely causes of 3 months of vocal trouble. Amanda's helping me work through this, and I'm so grateful. We're going to meet once a week, and I'm excited (and nervous) to see what kind of progress we can make.

Guitar Lessons
 I need some fresh eyes when I look at my guitars. Each time I pick up my guit-boxes these days, it feels like I'm playing the same things over and over. And while performing a hundred shows a year has certainly helped to improve my playing, I need to shake things up.
So, I'm going to take a few lessons, one on electric with the incomparable Christine Bougie to give me some new telecaster tricks, and one on acoustic with boy wonder Tom Power of CBC Radio 2 and The Dardanelles. It's been an embarrassing amount of time since my last lesson. These are well overdue.

Write/Complete Four songs
This fall break from touring was originally set aside for Good Lovelies to work on the new record, and that's what I'm going to do. I've got dozens of partially-written songs that need attention, and I'm hoping that some spark of creativity will get my songwriting going again.
I will admit that songwriting is not coming easily at the moment. I'm finding it hard to find inspiration (despite all the love in my life!).
I feel like my lyrics are trite and cheesy and completely without depth (not a new feeling, really). Also, combined with the vocal issues I've been having, I've been shying away from writing - well, unless I'm trying to entertain the baby. Today, while I was playing the guitar for Annabelle, I free-styled this little ditty:
Your name is Annie
You are cute and funny
But sometimes, oh sometimes
your diaper smells funky."

Can you say JUNO!?

Attend (at least) Five Live Shows
This is another part of my life that has been lacking since baby was born. I rarely go out to see live music, which is strange because I make my living depending on people doing just that.
There's no shortage of good music coming through Toronto in the next 5 weeks. Last night, I started working on this goal by seeing DIANA in concert at the Great Hall. The Good Lovelies sometimes-bassist Paul Mathew plays guitar/bass/synth in this band, and it was so fun to go see him in a different setting (DIANA's show is very different from the Lovelies!).

I was won over by the opening band last night, Empress Of.
She was mesmerizing...I think I'm in love. Again, 

Also, I drank a few beers last night, closed my eyes, swaying to the music. In that moment I was revelling in sound moving through me, trying to capture the subtleties of the music. It felt great to experience that again (and to hang out with some buds). This morning, not so awesome. Turns out I'm now a lightweight. First hangover since October 2011. Ugh.

momontheroad.ca
Over the next month I'll be working with musician and design wizkid Janine Stoll. She's helping me build a more comprehensive website for my Mom on the Road blogs. I'm excited to get this new webspace up and running!
In the meantime I have built a very basic website at www.carolinebrooks.ca. It's not much, but it's a place to point people in the direction of some of my projects. I'm feeling pretty energized about all of this, particularly because I just dropped an insane amount of dough on a new macbook pro.

Sleep Training Annie-B
Oh, this is my least favourite project for my time at home. This is the first significant amount of time at home we've had all year, and it gives us enough time to teach Annie to sleep (and to fall asleep) on her own. I'll get into this a bit more fully in an upcoming blog, but we need our little munchkin to learn how to fall asleep without our help. It's for our good, and hers too. We have made some really positive steps in the last week, but we have a long way to go.

My little taste-tester.

One New Recipe per week
Pretty self-explanatory. I do love cooking, even though my kitchen is the size of a postage stamp. It feels especially small when I have a one year old ambling around, getting her fingers into outlets, standing right in front of the stove, and pulling open the fridge.
So, I'm going to make one new dish per week. I have a feeling this month's recipes will involve many beautiful harvest vegetables. My favourite time of year for cooking (can you say Pumpkin pie!?).

And finally...

Throw a 1st birthday party!
Annabelle turns one tomorrow. And on that note, I must go bake some cupcakes, from a new recipe given to me by my buddy Sue Passmore (she has a great design/food/music blog...check it out here). We're having a gathering a the park tomorrow, taking advantage of the beautiful late summer weather.

Lots going on here, and I'm feeling energized (despite the hangover).

Til next time,

Caroline

A Mid-Western Swing

We've just wrapped a lovely 10 day our of the American Midwest with shows in Michigan, Illinois, Ohio and Pennsylvania. Fall tours of the US feel very comfortable - for several years we've found ourselves in the North East or Midwest at this time of year.

Rest-stopping somewhere in the Midwest.
Photo by: Sue Passmore

In packing for the trip, I summoned memories of those previous tours, picturing myself in jeans and light sweaters, and so I left the sandals at home. Boy did I regret that decision. Mother Nature played a cruel trick and sent the temperature up to the low 30s for many days in a row. Annie spent much of this trip hanging out in onesies and sweating it out in the backseat of the car.

And we did alot of sweating in the car: the routing on this tour made for some long and frustrating drives. There is nothing that gets me more worked up than driving back and forth across the same stretch of highway. We passed Portage, Indiana on the I-80 no less than 4 times, travelling between Illinois to Michigan and back again. I'm going to have to buy some carbon credits for that one. Ugh.

I have mentioned on this blog before that when I am travelling with the baby, I generally add one hour to every three we will be driving. This means that 6 hour drives can take up to 8 or 9 hours. Put three of those days in a row, and you get some very cranky Brooks-Loves.

Case in point: this past Sunday, we were scheduled to load-in to a Festival near Cleveland at 2pm. The night before we were playing in the Chicago area, which meant about 6 hours of driving. I was dreading this trip even before we realized that we would lose an hour as we moved from Central time to Eastern. To make it to the show on time, we were going to have to be on the road at 5 am. Barf.

So, my sister Katherine (our tour nanny this time around!) and I decided to leave after the Chicago show. There is nothing worse than trying to get to a gig on time while the baby's filling her pants in the back seat, and I didn't want to go through that the day of the Festival. Besides, we reasoned that if we got a head start on the drive, Annabelle would sleep deeply through the night portion of the trip. Then we could take our time in the morning and have a decent A.M. Routine. Perfect plan, right?

Well, suffice it to say it didn't quite work out the way we'd planed. Katherine put Annie down during the first set of our show in Chicago and she slept right up until we put her in the car at 10:15pm. And then she woke up. And then she was awake until 20 minutes before we landed somewhere in Indiana, at 2am EST - WIDE awake and cranky for the whole drive. I don't blame her. I was also super tired, but couldn't sleep because she was crying, and she couldn't sleep because I couldn't soothe her. Thankfully my sister had drunk a pot of coffee before we left, and was driving smoothly and steadily all the way. Easy to say that was not my favourite night of this tour.

Asleep at last.
Photo by: Katherine McKenzie

Each time we leave home now, Annabelle's needs are different. Over the last few months, she's become a very light sleeper, which does not lend itself well to touring life. In the early days of this tour, I was a stressball trying to keep her on some semblance of a schedule. But despite our best efforts, nap times were skewed, or missed entirely.

By the last 4 days of tour, I gave up completely on the schedule. My sister reasoned with me that Annabelle is a flexible baby, and that I should let it go. "It is what it is" were her exact words. So I stopped worrying about naps and bed "times", and let Annabelle give me the lead. By going with the flow, it meant she was going to bed later, but she seemed no worse for the wear, and I felt less obsessed and crazy about her so-called schedule. In fact, on a shopping trip at Whole Foods, a lady stopped me and said: "As a child psychologist, I'm going to tell you that you have a very happy baby." That felt like a pat on the back! Phew.

Katie and peanut, taking in a Good Lovelies show in Ohio.

Having Katherine on tour was great, and the added bonus of having A spend so much time with her auntie (and me being able to focus completely on the show) was getting to spend time with my little sister. We had a great time together. Unfortunately, she could only take a week off of work, and flew home from Cleveland early (stupid early) on Monday. We had two shows left, so I arranged with each promoter to have a babysitter to help out.

Monday's daytime show, at an all-girls private school (K-12) went off without a hitch. Annabelle was in her glory, squealing with delight at all the cute little girls, and hanging out with Angel, an alumnae of the school. She held Annabelle as she took a nap, and played with her during the show. Easy-peasy.

The Lovelies with the Laurel School team, and our babysitter Angel (centre).
Note: We toured this time with the awesome Steve Zsirai (left) on bass.
Pretty sure Annie has a crush on him!

On the other hand, Tuesday night's babysitting situation was, um, memorable. We were playing a house concert, and Annabelle was entrusted to a neighbour's daughter for babysitting. The 16 year old girl was hanging out with my baby upstairs while we played the show in the family living room. She was also joined by the host family's 16 year old son. Hmm.

They were "babysitting" in the room I was sleeping in (with the door closed), and looked quite flushed when I went up to check on the baby at set break. Annabelle was very upset, and held on for dear life when I tried to detach myself and head downstairs for the second set. The son called my baby "DEFIANT" (how nice is that?). I personally think Annabelle was annoyed at having to watch the two of them make out while she wanted to sleep. I am glimpsing into my future, and I don't like it!

Now we're home for a long stretch, and I'm going to catch up on some blogging, write some songs, get my voice back (more on that to follow), cook some harvest vegetables, hang with friends and family, deep clean the house and prepare for Annabelle's 1st birthday next week. This time last year, I was waiting excitedly to meet my little bean. And sleeping 9 hours a night. My how things have changed.

'Til next time,

Caroline

The Lovelies and Auntie Kate, road-nanny extraordinaire, onstage at Domenican University
River Forest, IL

Home and Away (again!)

Zombie-Mom here. I blame my tired state for many things, including a lull in writing (songs and blogs). I’m really tired - more tired than I can ever remember being in my life. And, it’s become a new normal; that hazy, not-quite-present state of mind is something I am learning to live with. So, accept my apologies for the lack of blogging. I’m losing brain cells through my breast milk, and there weren’t many to begin with.

A strong coffee helps lift the fog.

Where to begin?

Much has happened since the UK tour; after returning from London, we had a couple of weeks at home, where we settled into a nice routine. It was so nice to know when she’d wake/nap/poop/play…I felt, dare I say it, sane. 

Our routine was disrupted by a few glorious cottage weekends (where I celebrated my 32^nd birthday with family), and time visiting with our British cousins who were here for a few weeks. Great family time on both sides, which is important to me as Annie grows.

I have seen many changes have take place in Annie over the last three weeks. Some very positive: she’s become a little motormouth, and is crawling everywhere… Some are less positive: she’s developed bad sleeping habits and has learned to push my hand away when I am feeding her. Both sides now, as Joni said.

At 10 months, she’s still so new, but that personality is blooming, and she’s become a real character. When I look at her, I don’t see a baby, I just see a tiny person (a rather strange one, but a person nonetheless). Just this weekend, while Kerri and I sat outside a Whole Foods in Vancouver, Annabelle held on to the railing of the patio and yelled at people walking by. Actually it was more like a growl. My little attention-seeking gremlin was looking for smiles, and boy did she get them!

Also, during our time at home, Annabelle decided that she hates her crib. HATES IT. Even if we get close to it, she clutches my neck and starts to whine. It’s no surprise given that she spends most of her sleeping time in a bed with me when we’re on the road - and we’re on the road a lot. So now at home, she’s wormed her way into our bed and our sleep is suffering for it. We’re going to have to climb that mountain very soon.

Annabelle has also become a bit of a fussy eater, and eats best while distracted. Thankfully I have two great Aunties on the road with me who help with that. She also dislikes eating mushed-up baby food, and instead wants to eat what I’m eating. This makes me conscious of salt and sugar (probably a good thing), but from time to time she eats a block of cheese or some lasagna. Honestly I’m just happy to get the food in her belly.

Annie enjoys a good red pepper.
Photo by Kerri Ough.

We are now back on the road in Alberta and British Columbia. It’s been a lovely tour so far, albeit tiring (surprise!). This time around, I have been touring without a nanny, and getting babysitters each night. Usually this is manageable, but we’ve had some seriously late nights on this tour, which makes Annie’s 8 am wakeup call a little difficult.

We have had some wonderful experiences out West. Some of my best:

Watching the Deep Dark Woods play at Interstellar Rodeo. I love those guys - my sleepy babe, Sue and I bopped along while they played some of my favourite tunes.

The Grassi Lakes with my fave ladies

Hiking in Canmore up to the Grassi Lakes with our friend Marnie and her 21 month old son Aidan.  Aidan decided that he wanted to give Annabelle a kiss when we took them out of their carriers mid-walk. Annie would have none of it. Good girl!

Spending time with Kerri & Sue through noisy breakfasts and late night glasses of wine, (whispering in the dark to keep the baby asleep).

Shopping along Main St. in Vancouver with a cup of J.J. Bean coffee with Annabelle (and a bit of a spree at a second hand kids’ shop for 12 month old clothes!).

Watching Annabelle dance along to our acoustic sets on Hornby Island, a true “band baby”. I looked up when we started clapping during “Lie Down,” one of our set enders, and there she was clapping. My heart burst.

Some incredibly generous people have taken care of Annie while I’ve been playing shows too; Georgeanne, my friend’s sister, sat in the dark of my hotel room in Edmonton while Annabelle slept and I went off to play a late-night wine party. Jamie and Leah (and their 2 year old Emma) took care of Annie and put her to bed in Red Deer while we played at Babycakes Cupcakery. Sorrel, a wonderful local babysitter took care of her in Canmore, and my friend Nicole bounced baby through our set at SHOREfest in Vancouver. Am I ever grateful for these people.

True peace of mind came this weekend though; my sweet husband has decided to take some days off work and fly out for the last leg of the tour. I felt the stress lift from my shoulders, knowing that he’d be putting her to bed in Victoria and spending the day with her on Sunday on Hornby Island. Plus, that flight home from Vancouver is long with baby (more on that later...it was a doozy). I was so grateful for the extra hands and a shoulder to rest on.

Sleepyhead.

There’s a beautiful symmetry to his trip out here; 5 years ago this, Colin flew out to meet me on the Good Lovelies very first tour across Canada and spent the weekend with us on Vancouver Island. It was a little different then, certainly more carefree. But it’s better now, because we’ve got that little monkey hanging off us. How far we’ve come.

Til next time,

Caroline

UK Part III, the Wrap-Up

There are tours that pass slowly, dragging on until you’ve lived a week of days unrecognizable one from the other. Tours that are beige food and highways marked by Walmarts and Burger Kings. The shows themselves are always a joy, but sometimes the days and weeks are long. I don’t mean to sound ungrateful, because I know my career is a gift. But sometimes it’s hard to be away from home.

This UK tour was not one of those. It was a true delight, for many reasons. Here are some of them:

The Family Unit

Being on the road is a constant adventure and is, for the most part, fun and exciting. But most of the touring I’ve experienced has also been tinged with longing. Our first tour across Canada in 2008 was a total of six weeks, which began ten days after I married Colin. Missing him isn’t even the word; it is always much deeper than that.

This time around, home was with me; my little family unit on tour with my best friends and I. The best of both worlds, if you will. And while it was sometimes frustrating early on in the tour when Annie wouldn't eat or nap on schedule (see UK Part II), we managed to get a nice routine going by the last week. Just in time to go home.

Rebecca Kemp

The only place the Lovelies have ever hired a tour manager is in the UK, which makes being on tour feel like a vacation. I could extol all the virtues of Rebecca here, how wonderful she is at her job, how incredibly professional and easy she is to be around, but I won’t. It would take up way too much space (but you can read about her here – www.ontourlogistics.com/about).

Kempy, Annie and Sue
Photo Credit: Kerri Ough

What I will say is that she fits the Good Lovelies like a glove, and has become a great friend. I wish we could take her everywhere.

The Venues

The last few years we have been touring the U.S. extensively, and playing mostly theatres as part of their subscription series. In Canada we have a fair following and find ourselves in theatres or large clubs. What is different about the UK tours, so far, is that the shows tend to be smaller, and in venues that are quite varied night to night. This tour we played pubs, a theatre, an outdoor festival, a big top tent, and a few town halls. Lovely, all of them.

Kerri & Sue soundchecking for our show at the Old Queen's Head in London

That being said, our last show of tour was in the atrium of a shopping mall. Try playing a quiet love song while kids squeal on a motorized train ride and bowlers hit strikes in the alley directly behind you. “Shows” like that sure keep you humble.

The People

Two words: Listening crowds. We generally have very attentive audiences, but it is quite something to be playing in a pub and have the attention of every single person in the room. It’s disarming, almost, but appreciated.

At every turn, we met very kind promoters, really dedicated to the shows, and to bringing good music to their communities. At the end of tour, we played the Maverick Festival in Suffolk. Many of the promoters we had met along the way were there, and came to see us play the big open stage. And, they were all so generous with baby Annabelle, letting us stay in their homes, and providing her with toys, food, and snuggles.

Hanging sidestage at Maverick Festival with our Canadian friend Old Man Luedecke
and Jamie & Stevie Freeman from Union Music Store in Lewes, UK 

I can’t write about the people we encountered without mentioning Nick Lawson. Nick is a wonderful supporter of the Lovelies. We met him on our first tour of the UK three years ago, and last year when he attended six of our shows. Well this time around he came to EVERY show, and sponsored our B&B and dinner in Cottingham. Let me say that again: He came to 14 concerts. Thank you NICK!

With the Lovely Nick Lawson
Looking forward to seeing him on the next UK tour

Now we’re home in sweaty Toronto for a rest before hitting up Western Canada for Interstellar Rodeo in Edmonton, and Vancouver’s Shorefest. It’s perfect timing, as I’m dealing with a very tired voice (in fact, everything about me is tired right now). The toughest thing about losing my pipes is that I can’t sing lullabies to Annie...so her Dad is taking up the slack and singing her to sleep. At least my boobs are still working. Colin can't replace me in that department.

'Til next time,

Caroline

UK Week II

We’re heavy into week two of our UK tour, with shows in Leith, Cottingham, Cockermouth (not kidding), Bury and Kirton-in-Lindsay. We’ve also become regulars in BBC studios across the country. They are so much like CBC studios that I feel completely at home. Canada borrowed the format, and it works.

It astounds me how quickly a tour can pass. Hard to believe that we’re rounding the last bend, and that July’s already here. Especially given the weather; in typical fashion, our tour has been marked by a grey dampness. I would expect no less of Britain.

Midnight cuddle

Annabelle has been adjusting to a new schedule, three solid meals a day, bed at 9pm, wakeups at 3:30 and 6:30 for a quick feed, and then sleep until about 7 or if we're very lucky 8am. Then my sweet hubby takes her for a walk while I try to get some more rest for the sake of my voice and the show. Ideally she naps during the day, a couple of times, either in the car, or on a “soundcheck walk” with Daddy. Still, we’re dragging our feet.

So, yes the baby schedule is taking shape again, but now our big challenge has become making sure Annie drinks enough breast milk.

While I used to nurse her for 20 minutes every 3-4 hours, she has started to refuse my breast, or feeds for 3 minutes and then pulls away, making a very disgusted face. Very good for my ego, I must say. This started for the first time last week and it’s distressing for a few reasons:

1. I worry that she’s not getting all the nutrients she needs.

2. My milk production is down.

I made the mistake of letting a few days pass without pumping regularly. This was stupid of me. While nursing her to sleep last night (I know bad habit, please don’t judge me, I’m a terrible mother), I noticed that I was empty; my usually bountiful bosom was looking more like a couple of flapjacks.

So pump I must. More than my usual once a day, too. **Shudders** I do not enjoy pumping, so each time I do it I tell myself “this is good, you are a good mother, you are providing!” But then when she refuses the bottle later that day, and we end up dumping my precious milk down the drain, I cringe.

We’re trying a few things to encourage her back into nursing regularly.

We are learning for example, that Annie will nurse in a dimly lit, quiet place. If she hears another person, especially a voice that she recognizes, she’s done with her meal. It’s tough on my modesty, her popping up from behind her my hooter-hider, flaying arms and kicking legs. I’ve taken to hiding away in quiet washrooms while we’re in public places, or nursing in the van while everyone else is in the service station.

We have also been trying to give little Annie formula for the first time. Up until last week, I have breastfed exclusively. I reasoned with myself that giving Annabelle formula at bedtime would take the pressure off my breasts, and cut down on my anxiety if I hadn’t expressed enough milk during the day.

She didn’t take it. In fact, she will rarely take a bottle at all. Colin is the bottle whisperer; he seems to have the most success with getting her to latch on the bottle, but even still, she’ll often just skip nursing all together if I’m not around. And now with this breast refusal business, she’s drinking far less than I’d like.

Happy baby surrounded by her road family.

But Annie is still very happy. Her belly is otherwise full (she is eating solids like a champ). My little baby is a smiling, happy little thing, and doesn’t seem to be suffering for the change in her nursing schedule. So maybe this is just my new normal? Maybe it’s just a stage? Who the frig knows! I sure don't have a clue, and google isn't really helping.

Delicious. And yes, I ate all of it.

As for myself, I could write an entire blog about what I’ve been eating on the road. The fare here is very tasty and often unhealthy; fish & chips, Cornish pasties, meat pies, cask ale, curries…I’m gaining my UK freshman 15. It happens every time I travel across the Atlantic. I forget my good food sense at home.

It seems that Annie has forgotten her good food sense too.

‘Til next time,

Caroline

UK - Part I

Here we are in the UK, one week in. We’ve played a string of very nice, very fruitful gigs filled with ale-drinking, wellie-wearing audiences singing along like trained choirs. It’s wonderful here, from a show standpoint. And the scenery doesn’t leave much to be desired either.

Through green pastures in Lewes, UK
Photo Credit: Sue Passmore

We arrived at Heathrow on Monday the 17^th of June. While in the past we have flown to London on the red eye from Toronto, I elected to switch us to the daytime flight. Mostly I was filled with dread at the thought of a sweaty restless baby on my lap overnight. Even without a baby, that UK customs line is a blur after a sleepless night in flight. I was worried for my sanity.

That being said, I think it may have been better for all of us to have tired ourselves out on the night flight. We arrived in London at 9pm, and then headed on to stay with friends in Lewes (near Brighton). When bedtime came, none of us were sleepy. Annie included. We put ourselves down for the night at about 1am, and I shifted restlessly until 4:30 am. If I wasn’t nursing I would have popped a Melatonin. Alas, another drug I can't take for the time being.

Atop Arthur's Seat in Edinburgh. I hiked this while 6 months pregnant last year. If I'd only known how easy it was compared to now...

Plane travel has changed for me over the last few months; Annabelle is no longer a placid baby-blob, quick to sleep at the hum of a plane. She is now completely distracted by the lights, the intercom, the aunties. She has also become a little wriggler, and resists quiet lap snuggles. She wants to move!

So move we do. Up and down the aisles when it’s safe to do so, smiling at each passenger as she wobbles on her feet like a tiny drunk person. It’s kind of like Baby Trashes Bar. It’s amusing, but a bit tiring.

Up and down the aisles we go
Photo Credit: Kerri Ough

Many of Annabelle’s firsts are taking place on the road. Not surprising, given that so much of her life is spent on the road! Case in point; on our first transatlantic flight, she pulled herself up to a stand for the first time. On my airplane seat, egged on by Daddy and the Aunties while I stood in the aisle.

We’ve had some new challenges on the parenting front this week. Don’t get me wrong, Annie’s still so generous with being carted around, but she’s letting us know, more and more, what she doesn’t like.

First week challenges:

• Schedule. It’s whacked. Completely SCREWED. There is no schedule. There are no “feeding” times, no “nap” times. Just approximations; she sleeps when she wants to and eats when she wants to. There’s a lot of whining happening around here, and as Colin says “Nobody likes a whiner, Annabelle.” (On that note, after a week we’re almost over jet lag, but we’re still lagging round the green pastures.)
• We are all in a big tour van together which makes me very conscious of stops. Especially for the sanity of the rest of the band and our amazing tour guide while they are stuck waiting while I try to nurse the baby in a bathroom stall. It’s an awesome feeling. (On that note, we’re experiencing a bit of “Breast Refusal”. I didn’t make that up, apparently it’s a thing. I googled it. Check it out here. More on that next week. (You lucky readers, you!)
• For the first time, Annabelle tried to get away from me, reaching desperately for Auntie Kerri, who is way more fun than Mom. I’ve become the enforcer, the evil lady who sticks her in her car seat. And wait til she's a teenager.
• It is taking a lot longer to get her to sleep now.
• Travelling with solid food. I’ve been dealing with this a few months now, but as she eats more and more solids it’s become a challenge to manage healthy homemade food. Again, more on that in the weeks to come.
• Mornings. They’re a pain in the ass. They always have been, but add jet lag, and needing an hour and a half to get ready to leave the hotel....ugh. Frigging babies.

On the plus side, I LOVE having Colin on the road. From a personal standpoint it’s been great to have Colin here to put Annie to bed while I head out for shows. Nice for her because she isn’t forced to stay awake until I get her back to the hotel, and nice for me because I can concentrate 100% on the show. AND, nice for Colin because they get some good one-on-one Daddy-Annie time. It’s a win-win-win.

Baby & Dad.
Photo Credit: Kerri Ough

The epic first week is done, with 5 shows under our belts. We’ve had some lovely adventures along the way so far; hikes in green pastures (Lewes), a show in a big top tent (Mylor), and walks through the picturesque back lanes of Edinburgh.

Oh, one more challenge we’ve been having? Taking the baby to cool pubs, which means my poor friends are stuck drinking cask ale in “family friendly” establishments. How boring.

Til next time,

Caroline

Farewell, Midnight Sun!

So long, beautiful Arctic.

We have just spent the better part of a week in Inuvik. This is the furthest North we’d ever been, even with previous trips to Alaska, Iqualuit, and Dawson City under our Good Lovely belts.

Arctic sightseeing.

We went up to the Arctic Circle to play a show for folks at the Inuvik Petroleum show (former Environmental Studies colleagues, cue finger wags). We stayed the week to also play a Fundraiser with Shaun Majumder in support of the Inuvik Community Greenhouse. This is an amazing facility, which provides locals an opportunity to get their green thumbs dirty during the short growing season up North. It also gives the community a chance to have fresh, affordable produce. After sighting a bag of apples for $8.69, I understand the need.

With a few days off, and time to spare, we were able to settle in and do some sightseeing. I was reminded, all week, of what it’s like to live in a small town; to be conspicuous, especially walking around with the wee smiley babe strapped to me. Annabelle draws attention like nobody’s business, smiling at strangers and beckoning a response.

Susie, our daily server in Inuvik!

Case in point: we got to know Susie (another Susie!) at the restaurant this week. We ate there several times. She quickly fell in love with Annabelle, and joked that she would like to put her into her money pouch, like a kangaroo.

That expression “It takes a village to raise a child” felt very real to me this week.

Due to the high cost of travel, we came to Inuvik without a nanny. To help out, an old friend in town arranged childcare for sound checks and during the show. Taking care of Annabelle soon became a community affair, with the staff at the library watching her as I sound checked during the day, and a few different ladies sitting her during the shows in the evening.

Really, the village was in full force this week.

The Inuvik Public Library ladies, tending to my wee Annie.

Also, during our CBC interview, the sound tech Mitch ended up doing double duty; linking us into CBC Yellowknife, and bouncing baby A. Suffice it to say, he was an excellent multi-tasker! These people make touring possible.

Lovely Mitch from CBC Yellowknife. Sound tech and baby entertainer!

Finally, the aunties. I sing their praises daily, and was afforded some sweet alone time thanks to them. Including a beautiful trail run along the Boot Lake Trail and some excellent exploring in town and beyond.

Kerri & Sue to my rescue!

The midnight sun offered some challenges, not entirely unexpected (read: sleeping). The nights are not nights at all. After testing out my black-out curtains, which were not black-out curtains at all, I put an extra blanket over the window to block out some of that midnight glow. The light affected us both; my own sleep light and unrestful, and because of my wee munchkin, 3 hours at a time tops.

On the plus side, Annabelle had some incredible naps, about two hours at a time, twice a day. I will blame that on the fresh air, party time with the aunties and the long walks outside. It was a bit like what we experience at the cottage.

The Midnight sun, literally. Inuvik at 12am.

Now we head to the UK for the next three weeks, with 12 hours at home to clean our clothes and repack our bags and see the Dad for Father's day, Colin's first. Thank you Inuvik for the beautiful experience. I hope to be back soon.