Along for the ride

8 hour drives are not uncommon in our line of work. In fact, when touring in Canada (and North America in general) the 8 hour drive becomes a bit of a regular commute; Halifax to Montreal, Thunder Bay to Winnipeg, Moose Jaw to Calgary, Golden to Vancouver...we have clocked many kilometres in our 6 years as a band.

I knew that in Annabelle’s first months touring with the band we were going to spend a lot of time in a car, so to prepare her we took a few long drives. We drove regularly from Toronto to Whitby, where my family lives and took a few long trips to Grafton and Picton. Not surprisingly, she, like many babies, was lulled to sleep as soon as the car started moving. It makes for a lovely and peaceful trip (I am knocking wood as I write this).

Then we put all that practice into, well practice.

Annabelle tells me how she really feels about being in the car. Again.

Our first experience with a long drive was a few weeks ago, when we headed to Chicago for a show at the Fermilab* in Batavia, IL. We decided to drive to save some money on flights. Colin and I left the afternoon before the show, a few hours ahead of the rest of the band, to break the drive into two days and to land early-ish for the night. We wanted to stop in good time for Annabelle to have an evening routine. Bath, feed, sleep (not always in that order).

The drive down was pretty uneventful – by breaking the 8 hour drive into two chunks, we were able to arrive in good time and without many stops. The return trip was a bit of a different story. On our way home, we resigned ourselves to the fact that our drive was going to take the whole day. 8 hours became 12. Not including the time change.

She slept (no surprise there). Deeply. So deeply that she slept clear through a feeding time (my feeding vessels weren’t forgetting...um, ouch!). This is something we have to keep track of; if we’re not careful she will sleep for the better part of a day. And let me tell you, it’s tempting for us to buckle down and keep driving to get just a bit further (always just a bit further), but it’s important to get her out of her car seat and moving, even for just a half an hour.

Our adoring audience in Batavia

I have learned that we have to build in time. LOTS OF TIME. I have come to accept that this is the new normal, and am learning to take advantage of these breaks too.

Some other things that I’m learning:

1.       Annie-B is a teenager in a baby’s body. When we wake her prematurely she gets her crank on. Best to let her wake up slowly, at her own pace. The best way to do this is to stop the car, take her out of the car and let her stretch out. Then wait for the hunger cry!

2.       Sometimes it makes sense to pump (I am such a mammal) in the car, and feed her on the go. Then our next stop is for a change and a stretch only. I don’t love this option, but it works in a pinch.

3.       We are still trying to figure out the best places to stop. We tried a few different scenarios on that first trip – the coffee shop, where I fed her comfortably on a leather chair while my hubby ordered coffees and sandwiches (noisy); a booth in a restaurant, ordering food (expensive); the backseat of the car (a pain in the ass for so many reasons, but necessary – more to follow); a grocery store (inexpensive, but awkward). Still haven’t found a perfect option, but I’m leaning toward the coffee shop, which usually boasts a change table and comfy chairs.

Annie-B and I take a break for refuelling (both of us)

4.       Having her sleep all day means that she is more likely to be up all night. There’s no regular napping schedule (actually there is no schedule at all), and she doesn’t get tired out wiggling during tummy time or kicking like a madwoman. By stopping, we can help avoid this.

5.       Changing diapers in the backseat of a car sucks.

There are some particularly ridiculous moments on the road that make me question what I am doing. The things I put this poor baby through! Feeding her on the floor of the handicap stall at a Kroeger’s in middle America, sitting on her travel change pad and cooing self-consciously as ladies come in to use the washroom; feeding her in the dark of the car at night for some privacy as a car ahead shines its’ high beams directly on my exposed bosom; changing her diaper in the cold backseat after it exploded on my lap (playing limbo in a tiny compact car); running around to find a pharmacy because I forgot the nipple of her bottle at home (GAH!!!). Guilty Mom moments #829, 830, 831, and 832. And she’s only 3 months old. There are so many more to come.

We have had some other driving experiences, for shows in Southern Ontario, close enough to head home at the end of the night. We have learned that it makes most sense to get her ready for bed at the venue. That way, when we leave at 11pm, she falls asleep for the night, waking only for a diaper change once we get home. Into the crib, and sound asleep.

I am constantly reminded by other parents that we are very lucky to have a little one that sleeps. I feel guilty about that too; I will readily admit that I am living in a little bubble – tired more from my own schedule than hers. She lets me sleep each night, and is not very fussy. If we had been dealt a baby with colic (again, touching wood), all this early touring would be very very tough. Travelling with an infant is not easy, but she makes it as easy as it can be.

Thank you baby.

‘Til next time.

Caroline

This is how we feel about you reading our blog. Thank you!

*I had no idea of what the Fermilab was before we got there. It’s a research centre for the U.S. Department of Energy, the home of the first atom smasher - for you DaVinci code fans, it predates CERN (yes, I just referenced a cheesy bestseller rather than hard science. Don't judge me.). We played in a theatre located above a 4.5 mile network of underground tunnels. As I belted out Mele Kalikimaka, I started thinking of what was going on beneath the stage. YIKES! Find out more about the Fermilab here.

Bon Voyage, Baby.

The first leg of the Good Lovelies Christmas tour is complete. Three flights in three days, four hours of driving, two shows and LOTS of waiting around. Before getting into the details of how things went, I must say that I gave birth to the Angel Baby herself. This cherub is so peaceful and well-behaved it disgusts me. The worse she did on tour was poop on my pants. Read on if you will, but that's the gist right there.

Airplane Burping.

The Lead Up
If you have been a regular reader of my blog, you'll know that I have had no shortage of anxiety leading up to Annie's first tour. I've been bringing her to shows, expressing milk, taking her on car trips - all in an effort to insulate her against the road. I also called and emailed people who have travelled with infants, particularly musicians who live that nomadic venue to venue lifestyle. Everyone had great advice, and it was incredible to carry that with me.

I must say this: it's never taken me so long to pack a bag before. For my own travel, I have packing down to a science, but planning for a baby on tour was a whole new thing. How many diapers do I pack? (answer: more than you think you need), how many sleepers? (same), blankets?, what should the first aid kit comprise? Would I need formula if pumping didn't work out?

Let's just say, that for two nights away I had enough clothing/diapers/etc. for quintuplets. Her stuff took up the greater part of my suitcase.

The Airport Experience
We gave ourselves ample time to get to the airport on a Friday morning. However, 401 traffic was so bad (surprise), that we ended up arriving at YYZ a full half an hour later than expected. My heart was about to explode. The rest of the band was waiting patiently when we arrived, and Sue had filled out our customs cards to calm my heart rate and get us in the snaking Terminal 1 customs line faster.

Annabelle's passport photo is possibly the worst photo taken of a baby EVER. So bad that Colin won't allow me to post it online. I hope to break him someday - it is so hysterically bad that I guffaw each time I look at it. In fact, throughout the weekend it became a talking point, starting with the officer at U.S. customs assuring me that my baby is much cuter in real life. If you saw this picture you'd realize that's not saying much.

Going through security gave me insight into a big benefit of travelling with babies; preferential treatment. Basically they're thinking "Okay crazy, you're going to travel with your kids? Well here, go to the front of this line. No, no it's the least we can do" - *snickers behind back*.  We got in line for security and were through within 5 minutes: I held her, walked through the metal detector and voila, done. I know that it's not always going to be that easy but I'm going to pretend it is.

Annie slept through the entire thing.

Wise beyond her years, Annie's attitude toward being on the road.

The Flights
She slept, and all my concerns about ears popping and pressure and screaming were waylaid. Although at one point we experienced a major diaper breach on take off (lesson learned: I should always pack a second pair of pants). When we realized the pilot wasn't going to switch off the seatbelt light for the short flight, we performed a stealthy in-seat diaper change, much to our fellow passengers' chagrin.


The "Nanny"
As Colin couldn't make it this weekend, my Mom, Joy, came along for the first trip. She was fantastic and so easygoing. She also helped me keep track of all my things - a challenge for me even before baby. Add to my regular scatterbrain a baby's things...Annabelle's blankets and bottles are already scattered across Southern Ontario...

It is not easy to fit oneself into the touring life and habits of a band that has been doing things a particular way for years.  She is also incredible with babies (obviously, look how I turned out haha!). I had complete trust walking onstage and leaving Annabelle in her arms.

Annabelle with Mama on our Delta flight home

Backstage
We spend alot of time backstage. Particularly when the hotel is not close enough to the venue to warrant returning after soundcheck and before the show. It's pretty important, even without a baby, that the backstage space be liveable and comfortable. For the most part, Friday night's green room fulfilled our needs - there was a kitchen and washroom readily available, and a room with a couch.

Saturday night's "green room", however, left something to be desired. Aside from the colour of the paint it was no green room. We showed up on time, to find out that our soundcheck had been cancelled and that we'd be doing a line check before the show started instead...in 3.5 hours. The venue was already teeming with people taking part in the day's festivities. I asked whether there was a room for us to hang out in, and the promoter looked at me blankly. I motioned to my Mom, holding the baby, and our piles of gear. He quickly said he'd see what he could do. We ended up spending the evening in a glorified classroom, fighting throngs of people to use a public washroom.

In order to stretch out, I took the foam inserts from my electric guitar case and laid them out on the floor. Annabelle and I had a little nap and a feed and hung out in a corner of the room for awhile. This photo makes it seem much more romantic than it was.

I will admit the situation felt a bit desperate at moments. Nowhere to go, stuck in a terribly lit room with an exhaust fan squealing for hours on end, with throngs of people just outside the door. I am learning that Annabelle needs a peaceful, dimly-lit space to hang out (me too!). Our home environment is pretty calm and lacks overhead lighting. It's nice to try to recreate that cozy feeling for her to keep her content.

There are a few reasons it may also benefit the band to have a second room for the baby. First, she's very distracting - like a fire - and we all tend to stare at her and get lost (not necessarily a bad thing!). Second, It would also be nice for me to have a private space to feed her or express milk before the show. And finally, I think it will be important to just be a band sometimes, just the four of us if possible. I am highly conscious of giving everyone enough space.

Annabelle fist pumps at the end of a pre-show meal.

The Shows
It is so good to be back onstage with my girls (no I am not talking about my breasts). It really was like riding a bike, despite being thrown back into the Christmas catalogue. And despite my anxiety of being away from Annie and wondering whether she would have enough food, I was able to step up to the mic and let a lot of that go.

The first show of the weekend consisted of two 45 minute sets. I pumped about 4 oz that day to have enough for Annie to eat during the show if she got hungry. Mom tells me that she fussed through the second set. It didn't seem to be hunger as she ate most of the bottle of milk. Our sense was that she was overwhelmed by the situation; she was cranky up until I got her back to the hotel room and lowered the lights. Instant calm.

Our show on Saturday night was one hour set and I fed her before the show and as soon as I could get back to her. I preferred this to the double set, mostly because I like the closeness of breastfeeding. There is something very calming about it, unless she's trying to push away my "hooter hider" to see what's going on in the room; here I am trying for modesty and the kid is looking to show off the goods.

Homeward
Coming home has even more sweetness when you're bone tired and headed to your sweetheart and a warm bed. This time was no exception, and especially sweet given the reunion between Colin and Annie. I'll leave it there. A rather easy first tour for baby, and now we get in the car for a few dates, one to Chicago and two in Toronto. I rather hope she's getting the hang of it.

Til next time,
Caroline